The Model Daughter,   Parenting Magazine

Early in my first pregnancy, a friend—the veteran mother of a nine-month-old—shared this chilling prediction: “I bet our kids rebel against us by being ultraconservative.” “No way,” I replied, with all the confidence of a novice mother-to-be. “Whatever the issue, I’m sure my children will have my (read: good) values.” Eight years later, I’m about to eat my words as I send off my daughter Zoe’s pictures to the Eleanor Moore modeling agency. I tape fact sheets to the backs of glossy 8-by-10s, marveling that I’m doing….READ MORE


How Not To Treat Chronic Pain, Star Tribune

I’m trying to get into a clinical trial for a new chronic-pain drug. You’d think I was competing for a seat on the Virgin Galactic space shuttle.
After nearly five years of pushing through excruciating pain with epidurals, pain meds, hot baths, lumbar traction machines, physical therapy and sheer mental will, I finally succumbed last February to a spinal fusion surgery. I knew it would be bad; I didn’t expect it to make childbirth seem like acid reflux.

The surgery was a success. But the surgeon’s worst fear came true….READ MORE



Princess Pregnancy’ miserable, rewarding condition – Times Union

Thirty-one years ago, my daughter, Zoe, was born. I was ecstatic. But it wasn’t just about the baby. I was almost as excited to mark the end of the most miserable nine months of my life — or, as it will be known from this point forward, the Princess Pregnancy. (Kate is actually a duchess; there’s just something about the word princess.)

In 1980, hyperemesis gravidarum was, at best, a royal pain….READ MORE



A battle’s many tangible events- Commentary Page Minneapolis Star/Tribune

I’m watching the post-Bin Laden era unfold and wondering how this spectacle is affecting you. God knows it must make you miss Michael. Not that you don’t miss him all the time. Part of your mission is to raise awareness of and respect for our troops, a word that for most people is a just a word. An image. A list of casualties crawling on the bottom of the screen. What it isn’t is the way the clouds parted when he smiled, his signature scent, how he was so good at (fill in the blank). How your mother adored him or the time he stayed up half the night when your 4-year-old had the flu. For you, this is not a statistic. It’s the permanently etched outline on his side of the bed……..READ MORE


I’m considering starting a dating site for smokers:  Casual smokers, committed smokers, smokers trying to quite and ex-smokers who believe in the right to smoke. Not to glorify or glamorize smoking. Obviously I wouldn’t be that politically incorrect. Beside, what would my children think? But this isn’t about smoking. It’s about the right to smoke. There are lots of reasons why we smoke-emphasis on “we,” although I hope I’d still do this if or when I quit. Smoking relaxes you. Soothes your anxiety. Makes you feel glamorous. Keeps your weight down. Provides a “prop” in social situations. Appeals to your inner Rebel.…….. READ MORE

kahlil gibran


Dear Kahlil Gibran

Our children are your children, whether or not you like it. I’ve noticed the curious absence of parents in the wide range of topics you address. So on this Mother’s Day, 2012, I respectfully submit:

Your mother is not your servant. She is not your maid, your punching bag, your personal secretary or the ATM.  She is the source of your creation. The oxygen that breathed you into being. The spark that ignited your flame, the arms that cradled you, despite the futility of keeping you from harm……READ MORE

Savoring a near perfect Mother’s Day at my new place with my sister, brother in law, nephews, my son, Evan, and his new girlfriend, Ari, who shows up with a house warming plant sprouting one perfect orange flower and without the slightest hint of pretentiousness glances at my favorite painting and says, “Nice Britto.”

Story: Three years ago, after more than fifty years of marriage to my late mother, my father died on a cruise ship in the middle of the night in bed with his 80 year old girlfriend….READ MORE


As cremation becomes increasingly popular, people often choose a cremation urnash jewelry or other memorial keepsake to be kept in their home. “It’s a way of keeping her close,” explained John, recently widowed after 27 years of marriage. “Realizing I will never see her again was unspeakably painful. It’s comforting to look at the beautiful urn on the mantle, custom engraved with Jen’s name…..READ MORE



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